


something unheard of in this business

by liamozes



Category: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Swearing, and the other is oblivious, her dad's the oblivious one tbh, im just a sucker for a ship where one of them is pining, oblivious midge, okay she's slightly oblivious, she's too smart for me to write her as such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17192822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liamozes/pseuds/liamozes
Summary: Five times Lenny Bruce did a nice thing for Midge Maisel and one time she does a nice thing for him.





	something unheard of in this business

**Author's Note:**

> most of this stuff is taken from the show. no, i am not counting the time midge bailed lenny out. advice is also a form of help.
> 
> rushed through this in one afternoon lol
> 
> Leave me kudos for strength

 

_"I love you, you idiot!"_

_Rory Gilmore, Gilmore Girls_

* * *

  **1.**

It was really cold in the cell.

That is what Midge Maisel feels after being dragged off by fucking Peluso for making people laugh. The world of standup comedy was even crazier than she thought, if a person wasn't able to make jokes without getting arrested. 

She was also in the cell with what might possibly be a murderer- and she had gave the other woman advice on how to get rid of bloodstains. This night was getting stranger and stranger by the minute.

It's not that she regrets speaking from her gut. It had made her feel alive, to be on a stage just telling it as it was. The aftermath was just unbelievable. 

Hopefully Susie would scrounge up enough money to bail her out.

And when she is released late at night, she walks down the stairs in Joel's favourite red dress, the air outside somehow colder than the air in the cell. 

She expects to see her manager (friend? who knows at this point) waiting for her at the bottom, but someone unexpected is there instead. Midge is surprised to see him again.

"You're not Susie," She says.

Lenny Bryce gives her a once-over- probably just to see if she was alright, definitely not checking her out- and replies, "I was working down the street, heard some cute uptown chick got arrested for doing a set. I put two and two together."

Midge's brain barely registers him calling her _cute_ as she says softly, "Well, thanks."

He meets her eyes. "I guess we're even."

If they were closer, Midge might have dared to punch him in the arm playfully like she does- did with Joel. 

She settles for a sharp, "Hey, I threw in cab fare."

He turns away. "Aw, rats."

Something about that childish response is almost endearing. Midge grins. "Ooh, ooh, ooh- called me cute, huh?"

They leave the station, Midge flailing her arms slightly as she reenacts the set she was doing when she was arrested while they walk to wherever Susie was, ending it with a passionate, "And now I'm fucking freezing!"

Lenny gives her his coat without a word. 

* * *

  **2.**

Midge bumps into Lenny in a cafe after he had handed her a joint and asked whether or not he should have made a pass at her out loud.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Midge says in lieu of greeting, sliding into the booth. Lenny looks up from a half-empty cup of what she hopes was just coffee, and gives her a crooked smile. 

"You too," He leans back, perhaps taking in her pale blue ensemble and matching hat. 

"I was just speaking to Susie downtown, about my act," She then raises her hand and her voice. "Hey, can I get a cup of coffee here please?"

She turns back to Lenny after seeing the waitress nod. "How much profanity is too much profanity? What's the line here?"

"I'll assume you can judge that for yourself, uptown girl," Lenny says.

"Sex?"

"Sex and obscenity aren't the same thing."

Midge raises her eyebrows and looks at him expectantly. After all, he was the only _good_ comedian she knew.

Lenny lights another cigarette, "Alright, you asked for it, what've you got?"

"Just some insights into the steaming pile of shit that is my relationship with everyone in my life right now," She then begins her planned routine for a Gaslight show, quietly as to not disturb the patrons of the cafe.

It felt intimate, saying what you wanted in the crudest way possible, to a man you barely knew. 

By the time she finishes with a little flourish of her hands, Midge is shaking with laughter herself, and the lines around Lenny's eyes had crinkled. Her coffee was cold. 

"I'm glad I don't have your life, doll," Lenny says, gaze oddly serious. "But the best comedy comes from tragedy."

"Don't call what's happening to me a tragedy."

"Well your life has fallen apart completely, as you have just said, so I can call it whatever I want."

Midge sips the cold drink. "So what did you think? And be honest."

"I've gotta tell you- it was," He pauses for dramatic effect. Midge could feel another smile coming onto her face. "Not bad."

"Seriously?" She exclaims. "This is why I don't ask for an opinion from men."

"I'm not just any man- I'm a pro."

"Think with your brain and not with your penis," Midge says.

Lenny's eyes widen for a second, before he goes. "Okay, now I don't do this for just anyone, not even cute Jewish chicks from the Upper West Side, but this is how far I've fallen."

This is how Midge spends half an hour on a Tuesday night listening to Lenny talk shit about families and love and religion while he educates her on comedic timing, their legs brushing under the table, until the owner has the good sense to kick them out. 

* * *

**3.**

Midge's feet leads her to a diner she realises was on the same street as the cafe she and Lenny had last spoken at was. 

This time Lenny sees her the moment she enters. As Midge walks closer to his table, a lightly surprised smile on her lips, she sees how he wasn't eating anything, just smoking a cigarette. 

She was still so angry and mad at what she had just done. Funny things was supposed to come naturally to her- maybe she wasn't as funny as she had thought she was?

"What are you doing here?"

He exhales a puff of smoke. "Getting something to snack on before I have to go on at the Stork."

"Ooh nice," Midge says dejectedly, trying to hide the upset quirk of her mouth.

"You look constipated. Spill."

"Does it come naturally to you?"

"As natural as dying."

"It's just that no one had laughed during my set and now I might be overthinking this, but what if I'm not good?"

"Your stream-of-consciousness bullshit is oddly compelling. They don't laugh," He makes a gestures with his cigarette. "Because they don't have the brains to understand."

"Or you're just not funny," Midge gives him a shocked look, and Lenny raises both arms in surrender. "I'm no good at comfort. So it's one bad crowd. Not the end of the fucking world. Then again, when the world ends in fire and dust, some heckler will probably tell God that he needs more flair." 

"Oh _that's_ comforting." 

"I tried," Lenny says gruffly. "Alright, you're still young, twenty-eight, twenty-nine-"

"I'm twenty-six."

Lenny gives her face a quick sweep with his eyes before continuing, "Jeez you're barely out of the cradle. You'll get over it. Comedians have the thickest skin of any profession I know."

"Is this supposed to be inspiring?" Midge says doubtfully after a pause. 

"One bad crowd," Lenny stubs out his cigarette, grabbing his coat, preparing to leave. "It'll be fine, kid."

Midge shakes her head to herself as he leaves the diner with one last meaningful look at her. _Men gave the worst advice._

But he was right- she will get over it. And come back better than ever before. 

* * *

**4.**

"Went to the Horseshoe the other night to scope out the competition," Susie tells her one day after a good set. Midge got a few laughs out of some people who might've been alive during the Coolidge years. "Lenny Bruce wants to know how you're doing."

"I'm doing fine," Midge replies, slightly out of breath from her performance. _How on Earth could Susie view Lenny as her competition?_

"What the fuck was I supposed to say?"

"That I was doing fine?" Midge shrugs, a strange feeling stirring in her stomach at the thought of Lenny asking after her.

"I acted like a shit-faced buffoon in front of him. It was fucking humiliating."

"I'm sure it's fine."

"How do I put this-" Susie flicks her eyes to the ceiling for a moment before looking back at Midge. "Are you two doin' the you-know-what? The horizontal tango or whatnot?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Are you two fucking?"

If Midge had been drinking, she would've spat it out. She hurriedly says, "No!"

Maybe she had responded a bit too quickly, because Susie gives her a disbelieving look. 

Thinking about Lenny Bruce that way, darkly handsome and curiously charming as he was, made Midge feel nauseous. She had spoken to him a handful of times, according to etiquette, they were simply considered acquaintances. 

Susie snaps her fingers directly at Midge's face. "What are you thinking about? Him?"

Midge ducks her head, blinking, "No."

"Hmph," Susie shakes her head. She then thrusts a slip of crumpled-up paper at Midge, which she takes automatically. "He gave you his number. His _private_ one."

"That's awfully nice of him," Midge replies, glancing briefly at the scrawled number, before placing it into her gray handbag. 

"Said to call him if you ever need a drink- not money, a _drink_ ," Susie says, crossing her arms. "I thought about tearing the paper up as soon as I got it because no matter how brilliant he is, he still cannot be trusted."

At Midge's questioning look, she adds, "No one who has survived this long in the business can be trusted. They abso- _fucking_ -lutely do not do things outta the goodness of their hearts. Everyone wants something."

Midge keeps Susie's words in mind as she leaps at Lenny two weeks later after opening for him at the Gaslight, alive with excitement and happiness, beaming into the crook of his shoulder. She could feel his grip tightening on her slight body, as he holds her up for a shining moment, sharing this bubbly feeling of success with her. 

* * *

**5.**

The shoe polish was on the top cabinet of the poorly-lit storage closet. Midge, having found no stepping stool around and was too invested to look for one, stood on the tips of her toes to reach it.

She had scuffed her shoe trying to kick open the door of the lady's water closet after it refused to budge. And now she was stuck with a scuffed shoe.

Susie might've told her to forget about it and that the last thing they would notice about her onstage would be her shoes (the first thing would be her tits), but Midge, ever the perfectionist, wanted her shoes to be shiny. 

Balancing on one foot, she was just about to make a desperate grab for the tin when the door opens.

Startled, she quickly whirls around to see Lenny Bruce with his mouth slightly opened in shock. 

"Occupied?" She tries for a joke.

"Just passing by," He replies. 

"Passing by a storage closet," Midge says with a raised eyebrow.

"That's what I do these days. Looking for potential places to have sexy times, that's me."

"What are you doing here?"

"Drink. I was banned from doing standup here a few months back."

"Go get your drink then, Mr. Bruce."

"Well, what're you doing here, Mrs. Maisel?"

"None of your business."

"Hmm," Lenny hums, giving her a customary once-over, not that he could probably see much in the dim light of the closet. "Looking for shoe polish, I see."

Midge looks at the marks on her left heel sheepishly. Of _course_ , someone would notice. 

"Top shelf?"

Midge sighs. "Yes. Can you help me?"

"Say please."

She was just about to ask nicely, but then Lenny fully steps into the closet- which suddenly felt more cramped- and places one hand gently on her hip, another hand reaching upwards to grab the shoe polish. 

He smelled like cigarette smoke and musky drinks. In other words, he smelled like a goddamn bar mixed with some notes of hair product. Like a lucid dream.

"Thanks," Midge says. Their fingers brush when she takes the container from him.

His hand lingers on her hip, moving up to her waist.

Alright, she was beginning to see what Susie meant when she said all people "wanted something" and why people thought they were dating. But maybe, some part of her wanted this too.

Midge inhales, thinks about sweet, _loyal_ Benjamin, and steps away with what was hopefully a casual, "See you later, Lenny."

* * *

**+1**

Midge knew Lenny had problems, but she didn't expect to see his personal demons so clearly as he had displayed them during his performance. 

And the audience had laughed, not knowing what the man was going through. So had she- it was disturbing, to say the least.

Midge wonders if the whole segment was a cry for help, for someone to reach out, to stop Lenny Bruce from ending up _all alone_. She felt the same longing herself, for someone to understand her, not Joel, the man who loved her and begged for forgiveness, but maybe if she _tried_ , she could-

"Lenny," She approaches him as the show ends and after he has shaken hands with Steve Allen. Perry from earlier looks slightly panicked but lets her pass. He tenses, the stiff lines of his body undetectable to strangers, but not to her. "Are you-"

"Good show?" 

She smiles crookedly, touching his arm lightly. "The best. Everyone laughed their asses off."

He shrugs off her hand. "It's not enough. All this won't ever be enough."

A pause. 

"Drinks on me?"

"When you say it like that-"

Midge links their arms together, as though they were an old-fashioned couple. Lenny doesn't shy away from her easy touch. "What the hell. The night is young and the drinks are flowing."

Lenny looks down at her, his dark eyes uncertain and deeply vulnerable. 

Midge sighs, rolling her eyes fondly. "As if I'm leaving you all alone after that."

"You sure about this?" He smiles, cradling her small hand in his, like it was the most delicate thing in the world. "I'm no model citizen, I've been marked a bad influence. Mothers hide their daughters from me. I have made quite a few people faint in horror and disgust."

That is when she realises. It was a revelation. 

Lenny takes a deep breath. "I like you a lot, Midge."

 _I won't hurt you_ , is what he wasn't saying.

"Well, I'm going first," Midge says, voice wavering slightly. Putting aside her family, estranged husband, rejected fiance and the biggest opportunity of her life like this was the effect Lenny had on her. 

Lenny smirks. "I'll follow you wherever you go."

* * *

_"We accept the love we think we deserve."_

_Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower_

**Author's Note:**

> im back again with another tale of TRUE LOVE- this is what tf it is
> 
> i still love them so much dear lord
> 
> ayyyy not sure how many diners and cafes there were in downtown manhattan back then but im not a historian let me have this
> 
> this is from midge's perspective because she's super oblivious
> 
> i mean they did not interact enough in the show and im here to fix this mistake
> 
> joel sucks i don't want to write his name
> 
> i s2g the s2 finale was so unexpected yeah i get midge is traditional-ish but how tf does she end up with her cheating husband
> 
> orginally wanted to title this "comedy is tragedy plus time" but this story is not tragic it is nice and soft and NOTHING REALLY BAD HAPPENS  
> might call it "a very nice thing" (quote from s2) bc it is for me and for US bc we deserve nice things  
> "not bad" is my go-to phrase for people who don't want to appear overly eager and that in my mind is lenny bruce  
> no the "something nice" is not a blowjob i told you im not writing smut  
> the hug in s1 was so inspiring- get you a man who can support your full weight like lenny bruce  
> i'm p sure i'm not following the timeline of the show here but whatever  
> *whispers* "tits" forgive me father for i have sinned
> 
> References:  
> the stork club is a real place in nyc but def not somewhere lenny would ever be invited bc his acts are too obscene just let it be for the sake of the story  
> the "end of the world" thing is a bit about the atomic bomb  
> "'sex' and 'obscenity' are not synonymous" is the quote from lenny bruce i paraphrased for the 2nd incident  
> "occupied?" in p5 is a reference to b99  
> so lenny bruce's real life was super messed up and depressing. however, in MMM luke kirby plays a fictionalised version of the actual actor so i am writing fanfiction for midge x lenny (ledge lol) based on the character from the show
> 
> hope you like this- leave me some nice kudos and comments ;)
> 
> find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/possessedbyforcesunknown)


End file.
